Finally, the passion for soccer in America is approaching the insanity reached in Europe and South America. From the Lincoln JournalStar, via Deadspin:
[T]he woman yelled at her 15-year-old in her car and asked her to repeat lines about improving her performance [on the pitch]. When the girl messed up the lines, she slapped her… the teen told her mom to pull over along I-80 near the downtown exit, so she did. That’s when the girl says her mom yelled at her to get out. She did and her mom drove away.
Well, it's not a deadly soccer riot or a street-clearing hooligan brawl, but it's a start. If we want to compete with the rest of the world in this sport, our children need to understand that soccer fucking matters.
Next time, little lassie, get it right: "This is my soccer ball. There are many like it, but this one is mine…"
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/BKZMP0WCAAAaEgq-1-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/daniele-de-rossi-dive-justification-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Water-Skiing-Baby-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/boubacar-copa-barry-180x180.png)
Yeah, uh…..Matt? Soccer doesn’t fucking matter. Hate to break it to you. If that Mom truly cared about her daughter, she would have given her a football, and demanded she gain over 150 pounds and work on her pass-blocking skills.
Then she could slap her and leave her on the side of the road.
There are many like it….bwahahahaha
Alright maggot maybe a few miles of interstate running will get your head straight!!! You better not fall out of that run either or I will skull fuck you to death!
Somewhere Holly Mangold is brushing up her pass blocking skills.
Fuck ball sports…play hockey
Devang – HILARIOUS.
Mayhem – Hell yeah
And c’mon – no MILF picture? We have to deal with the likes of a failed Willy F. movie? For shame, for shame!!! Where’s Rachel Hunter when you need her?
There are many paths to lesbianism, and this one certainly dumps you on the fast track, which I wholeheartedly support (provided it ends up on film)
Hail, the weekend shift is where you get the REALLY gratuitous photos. I pick my spots.
J.L. White — I don’t care if you’re a Seahawks fan, if you talk shit about soccer, I swear to Christ I’ll turn this into a soccer blog. That goes for ANY soccer haters. This is NOT a forum for free speech.
soc-cer?
(side note: the award for complete lack of creativity goes to the San Diego Sockers!)
Did someone say ‘MILF’? What about my MILF draft idea, matt? I take Diane Lane.
Soccer = Organize Keepaway.
No, we’ll keep that Lack of Creativity Award for all those who repeatedly post “soc-cer?” every time there is news that involves the sport.
Our bretheren at Deadspin have a 10-part Commentist Manifesto, Dikembe and JL. I offer you #8:
“Thou shalt not comment without saying anything interesting (Think before thou type, then don’t type it, then come back in a couple minutes when thou hast a solid poop joke to add).”
My poop was not all that solid this morning. But I don’t see how that is interesting. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Which is cool.
why do people mess with soccer? Any sport that can shut down entire countries for weeks at a time gets my respect.
The NFL by comparison only shuts down the U.S. for one day a week… and only 17+ times a year. (Unless there’s an NBA All-Star game in Vegas to attend.)
Did someone say ‘MILF’? What about my MILF draft idea, matt? I take Diane Lane.
With the #2 pick in the draft I’ll take Elizabeth Hurley.
[img.photobucket.com]
This is Matt’s blog. There are many like it, but this one is Matt’s…
Chris, thats scrumptious. (sp?)
With the third pick in the draft, The Hail House select Jennifer Garner of Denison University.
With the 4th pick in the draft, MetsFan_VI bukakes Catherine Zeta Jones.
As powerless commissioner of the MILF league, I think that Jennifer Garner, although technically a Mother We’d Like to Fuck, is too young to be a traditional MILF.
In my eyes, a MILF is someone 40 plus who isn’t known as a traditional hottie. Your MILF pick shouldn’t be found in the Maxim 100 or something like that.
Those are just my thoughts. I could be wrong.
So, you’re saying Isabeli Fontana can’t count? Her first kid at age 19 and second at 22. Oh yeah, she’s 23 right now and she happens to be a Brazilian model, so I think that’s cheating.
I would have stole her in the second round.
If your MILF choice is preceded by the words ‘Brazilian model’, yeah….not a traditional MILF.
And Jennifer Garner turned 35 today? WTF?
Didn’t she look like she was 12 a few years ago?
With the 5th pick in the draft…
Rachael Hunter.
[images.icnetwork.co.uk]
With the 6th pick in the draft, Tim selects Anna Nicole Smith.
Too soon?
Nobody will judge your necropheliactic tendencies in the MILF draft, Tim.
With the 7th pick, J.L. selects Mia Hamm.
Matt, please consider this an olive branch. I meant no disrespect.
Mel Kiper hasn’t seen a reach like the Mia Hamm selection since Jeff Lageman in 89.
Oh, I didn’t take Hamm for myself. No, I had already qorked out a pre-draft trade, and took Hamm for 289, who agreed to send me his 1st round pick, plus the rights to a jpeg of Scarlett Johannsen.