WHAT IS GOING ON IN SAN DIEGO?
03.06.07
After reading this USA Today article from a week ago about the Giles brothers (Marcus and Brian), suddenly Greg Maddux peeing on teammates doesn't sound quite so strange. It's really too much material for one blog post; I kind of just want to put the entire profile in block quotes. But here's a taste:
"I'd be in (former manager Bruce) Bochy's office having a serious meeting and Brian would come in there fully naked, showing his batting stance," the GM [Kevin Towers] says. "He's normal except for the tanning booths, shaving his body and walking around with no clothes. One Giles is enough. I'm not sure if I can handle two of them."
Also revealed in the story: the brothers shave their bodies in the shower together in part to disturb pitcher Chris Young; Brian jokes that his parents work in the sex industry; Marcus claims that he hasn't put on makeup since he was five ("when [he] wanted to be a little girl"); and Brian says that his family won a karaoke contest when he was young because his mother's breast fell out of her shirt.
Listen, I don't pretend to know what it's like in a major league clubhouse, and I definitely understand that nudity is a part of locker room humor, but you just don't make jokes about your mom getting naked on stage. Unless, you know, she's a trick-ass ho. Then it's cool.
Note: Thankfully, the Dugout gives meaning to our lives by covering this story.

What the fuck in going on in San Diego?!? Is there something in the water, the lack of any sort of inclement weather, what? What’s next? Well, no one answer that.
I can’t believe athletes are possibly upset about homosexual behavior when it seems all of their acts are very sexualized! Is Richard Simmons singing the anthem on opening day in San Diego?
Jeez they’re typical of every baseball player I knew in HS. And rugby players as well.
This is why Tim Hardaway played basketball.
They sound like a cross between Gilbert Areanas (loony) and John Amaechi.
I would never shower in San Diego – between Maddux peeing on me, or the Giles brothers getting their body hair on me I’d be waking up in a cold sweat for years.
So, THIS is why Chris Dielman wanted to stay in San Deigo so badly!
I can vouch for this…Jason Kendall and Brian Giles used to go to the tanning beds TOGETHER when they where with the Pirates.
That’s crossing many lines right there.
Guinny, I agree. Baseball locker rooms are the gayest places I’ve ever been.
True story: last week one of the six o’clock newscasts in San Diego ran a story indicating that artificial tanning is addictive, and that frequent tanners suffer withdrawl symptoms when they stop tanning.
Brian is suffering, people. The body shaving is clearly a cry for help.
you know how I know you’re gay?
“We call it the Aristocrats.”
Oh well, just read The Dugout. They got there first!