My thanks goes today to Donkey Carnival, which alerted me to the swirling controversy in Cleveland, where the USDA is trying to prevent Caesar the Wrestling Bear from doing what he was born to do: wrestle humans.
Sam Mazzola's license to exhibit exotic animals was canceled in November because he provided false information to the U.S. Department of Agriculture… Mazzola said his exhibit is "perfectly legal." His partner, Larry Wallach, has a valid license that allows another person to be designated to operate the business.
Of course, as with anything that might finally settle the score between Man and Nature, PETA got in the way and started fucking things up:
Last year, about 100 people complained about the sport show exhibit to the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said Jackie Vergerio, animals-in-entertainment specialist with the animal-rights organization. Vergerio filed a complaint with the USDA, accusing Mazzola of allowing a woman holding a baby to have direct contact with a tiger and letting a trainer hit a tiger over the head with a wooden bat. Those complaints are still under investigation.
Well, YEAH. Of course the tiger got hit in the head with a bat. It was trying to eat the baby. And just how are children supposed to learn to fear tigers if we don't expose them at an early age? I'll never understand why PETA thinks animals are so much important than babies.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/watch-this-a-grizzly-bear-ate-a-guys-gopro-camera-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Bear-and-Monkey-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/yu-darvish-perfect-game-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/blue-jays-lose-10-1-after-tenor-jeff-fuller-butchers-o-canada-180x180.jpg)
No!!! Stephen Colbert can’t be happy about someone teaching bears to box. Supposedly the best way to avoid a bear attack is to box them in the nose, but if they learn to dodge and weave, it’s over. It’s fuckin’ over, man!
Last year, about 100 people complained
If family guy taught us nothing its that 100 complaints equals 100 million complaints
Y’see, I understand the draw of watching a person wrestle a bear, but I don’t think entertainers understand the awesome drawing power of allowing people to wrestle PETA. Honestly, who wouldn’t want a go at some twig as they run their mouth about how chickens couped up in pens is equivalent to the holocaust. “What $50 to knock some reality into some idiot’s head? Well, do I at least get a photo of me doing it suitable for framing? Well then, I’m in!”
I thought this post was going to be about burly gay men. Thankfully, I was incorrect.
WAS: Too bad. Maybe tomorrow.
If you want to learn how to survive a bear attack- check it out (remember get to a high place): [www.youtube.com]
PETA, always trying to stop our fun. Let’s have those hippie bastards fight to the death for our amusement.
BETH–Bears for the Ethical Treatment of Humans–are protesting this one too. Hey, since bears are involved, is Sarah Spain prostituting herself for tickets? Zing.
That Snog Chick is wearing a very appropriate t-shirt to the discussion we’re having. And she’s looking at me….rather seductively. Perhaps buying whatever the hell it is they sell will make me happy? Maybe as happy as watching a man wrestle a bear.