Tim and Hannah Witt, a happily married couple who may or may not be cousins, named their first son Tyde. Because they're fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide, you see. I know, I know: clever. So when Hannah got pregnant with another son, they decided to keep the theme going:

As early as mid-January, the Witts knew their second child was a boy, and they knew his name would be Saban.

That's right, Saban Hardin Witt… is named after Alabama head football coach Nick Saban.

They realize that this kid is named Saban for his entire life, right? He has yet to coach a team longer than five years. Right now the list of jilted former organizations that now despise Nick Saban includes the University of Toledo, Michigan State, LSU, and the Miami Dolphins. But apparently Tim and Hannah are okay with the notion of Nick Saban not being the next Bear Bryant.

"We'll tell our son he was named after one of the highest paid coaches in college football," the father said.

Holy shit, he said that without any irony. They grow 'em extra stupid down there. Maybe this Saban kid can form a support group with some older kids named Neuheisel and Barnett. 

(Story via Every Day Should Be Saturday)