Over the last week or so, I've ignored about a dozen different takes on Lance Briggs's ongoing bitchiness towards the Bears, because to me it seemed like just the usual boring offseason rigamarole of player movement in the NFL. But I was wrong: Lance Briggs is a colossal, possibly historic, dickhead.

"I am now prepared to sit out the year if the Bears don't trade me or release me," Briggs told FoxSports.com's Jay Glazer. "I've played my last snap for them. I'll never play another down for Chicago again." Briggs elaborated that he would go so far as to take out loans if necessary to survive next year without a paycheck…

Combative, Briggs added in a brief conversation on the phone that he didn't appreciate Chicago fans and media reacting negatively when he made public his stance last week. He says he was tricked into doing an interview on WSCR-AM 670 and resisted speaking to local reporters because of the way he has been portrayed…

"I eventually want to be 'the man' somewhere," Briggs said. "I want to be like [Brian Urlacher] and have everything put on me too. Obviously, I'll never be able to do that there. Still, had the Bears made me a long-term offer that I found acceptable, I probably would have sacrificed this desire and stayed."

Stupid cheap Bears and parasitic media. You don't insult your players by offering them seven-year contracts that pay almost $7 5 million a year. And when the player (smartly) rejects that insult, you don't pour salt in the wound by making him the franchise player and guaranteeing him $7.2 million. Here's Lance Briggs, humbly approaching the team, bleeding from his stigmata, and the best the Bears can do is $7.2 million to play for the NFC champions.

I tell you what, I'd walk away, too. Then I'd ride ride my pegasus over to the valet station, where a team of leprechauns would retrieve my time-traveling DeLorean. "Here you go, Paddy. I hope this doubloon I got while scuba-diving Atlantis will suffice as a tip."