When I was in high school I lived across the Mississippi River from Missouri and called it the Show-Me The Way Out State (I wasn't punched enough in high school). But it's true: Missouri kinda blows. Both of its major cities (St. Louis and KC) spill over into other states, and Kansas City took the name of the state next door, most likely out of shame. Also, as leggy vixen Kristine pointed out to me, Missouri's privileged bobcat class frequently oversteps its bounds.

As [Mitch] Walter was inspecting the Cape Rock Water Treatment Plant property Tuesday night, a rabbit leaped into his golf cart — followed by a 25-pound bobcat. The rabbit then jumped back out, leaving Walter alone with a large, frightened feline.

"The cat went from a sleek predator after fast food to a ball of fur trying to jump through the windshield of the golf cart," Walter said. Walter received scratches on his neck while shoving the bobcat out, necessitating a round of rabies shots, but was otherwise unhurt.

Witnesses say the scene looked like a Heathcliff fight in which stars, exclamation points, and number signs shot out of a cloud of dust. It was accompanied by high-tempo banjo music.