Add Gary Matthews to the list of obvious steroid users who will never be officially convicted of any cheating. The Angels, justifiably eager to get out of the idiotic five-year, $50-million contract they gave Matthews over the off-season, recently learned that they're SOL:

After an initial review, lawyers advising the Angels have indicated the team probably would not have grounds to void the contract of outfielder Gary Matthews Jr. even if prosecutors can prove he received an illegal shipment of human growth hormone. In the absence of a criminal conviction, the Angels probably could not void the contract, even if they would want to do so, according to two highly placed baseball sources.

Okay, so the Angels are still looking good. All they need is a criminal conviction… except Matthews hired Robert Shapiro, best known as OJ Simpson's defense attorney.

So there you go. If history has taught us anything, it's that Matthews will never get convicted of anything, even though he murdered his ex-wife and her friend in cold blood.

Pictured: Kim Kardashian, whose father, Robert Kardashian, worked with Shapiro on the Simpson case. So: totally relevant.