Zhang Xinshi, a biologist from the Chinese Academy of Sciences who advises China's parliament, is calling for sweeping changes to the Chinese diet in order to produce athletes on par with western countries. He suggested that last month's brawl between the Queens Park Rangers and China's under-21 team proved that Chinese players simply weren't — ahem — beefy enough.

"You can't just say you aren't used to eating beef and drinking milk and leave it at that," Zhang said during a discussion of Chinese agriculture at this week's meeting of the advisory body CPPCC…

"We all saw the recent fight in England and they (the players) were beaten to a pulp. Sounds tragic? But if you are as strong as a buffalo how can they beat you up? Therefore I don't think we should advocate the Chinese grain-eating tradition."

I don't get it. I've got a Chinese menu right here, and there's beef everywhere. Beef with broccoli. Pepper steak. Beef lo mein. Beef beef beef. Are you telling me that 1.2 billion Chinese people are just eating rice? I find that pretty hard to believe. It seems like such a bowling diet. Boring. I meant boring diet. Solly Sorry.