Before I dive into NCAA tourney stuff — it's coming soon, I swear — I wanted to make sure I gave several storylines from around the world of sports their fair notice.

• Chris Simon gets 25-game suspension. So trying to kill someone with your stick is more than a five-minute penalty in hockey. Good to know. That should minimize on-ice shootings in the playoffs.

• Roger Federer is human. You know that 41-match winning streak he had? The one where he won 101 of 109 sets and went 17-2 in tie-breakers? Yeah, it got snapped by somebody named Guillermo Canas. What kind of name is that? Scottish?

• Patriots sign Donte' Stallworth. Brokered by agent Drew Rosenhaus, one of the all-around nice guys in sports, Stallworth may only play for the Pats for one season unless New England forks out a hefty roster bonus next year. Question: If I were to write about something that belonged to Donte' — say, his shoes — would it be Donte''s shoes?

• Jimmie Johnson won in Las Vegas. If I were him I wouldn't have bothered with the victory lap. I would have driven straight to Cheetah's. Let them shower me with champagne there.