What to watch for in this weekend's biggest match-ups. Home team in ALL CAPS. All times Eastern.

CLIPPERS over Warriors (Saturday, 3:30) — What do you mean you don't care? If they were in the East this would have serious playoff implications.

Pittsburgh over GEORGETOWN (Saturday, 2:00, CBS) — Tough pick. Pitt's the better team, but G-town's tough at home. At least I think they are. Okay, I made that up, but it might still be correct.

INFLUENZA over the Common Cold — Every fall, newscasters are like, "It's time to get your flu shot." And I'm all, "What do I look like? Some kind of pussy?" Then I spend three days in the middle of winter wishing for the sweet release of death. Whatever. Flu shots are for pussies.

Manchester United over FULHAM – (Saturday, 7:45 a.m.) I'm hoping for some magic at Craven Cottage, but I'm afraid Clint Dempsey and Fulham USA are going to be outclassed by the Yankees of the Premiership.

LAPTOPS over Desktops — Why do desktops even exist outside of austere government buildings?

Any Other Month over February — Sure, it's gained the Super Bowl in recent years, but the only other redeeming thing about this crapacious month is that there are only 28 days.

C'est tout. The site will be quiet this weekend as the assistant editor has to register as a sex offender in four different counties. Or he's going to a wedding. I'm not sure. His explanation was longer than five seconds, and I kinda spaced out.