Signed to a minor-league contract, Sammy Sosa — who, despite hitting 588 roidacious home runs in his career, washed out with the Orioles in 2005 and didn't play last year — is in camp with the Texas Rangers in Arizona, and he's tempering his expectations:

"Why would I come back for 12 more home runs. Why? I want 700 home runs," said Sosa, the most blatant hint that he plans to play beyond this year if his bat speed allows. "I am greedy." … "I will continue to be great to this game. I don't want to talk about what happened in Congress. This is not my problem."… Sosa said he didn't believe his name was tainted by the steroid whispers… "Trust me, you haven't seen anything yet."

We haven't seen anything yet? What is it that makes athletes this stupid? Years of success? Adoring fans? Easily attainable groupie sex? Seriously, I want to know. Because people this willfully unaware of themselves are usually surrounded by padded walls and sexually assaulted by creepy orderlies.

You know what? I'm done with this clown. Here are his numbers from the last time he played two years ago: 380 AB, .221 average, 14 home runs, 84 Ks. He's now 38. Sammy Sosa can eat a plate of steroid-shriveled dick.

Also see: the FanHaus

I've had a tough time learning specific details about this story, but from what I can gather… Pictured on the left: An Argentinean condom company's ad with a creative prediction for an upcoming Brazil-Argentina soccer match. Pictured on the right: Brazil's response following a 3-1 victory over its rival.

I don't understand what Argentina's problem is. Brazil's got a sweet ass. 

One of the best things about living in New York is that there are all sorts of cool, offbeat things going on here that you end up hearing about after they happen. Or you hear about them but they're going on in another borough or you already have plans to get drunk with friends. That kind of stuff.

One such event was Saturday's mass pillow fight in Union Square. There's endless footage of the feathers flying on YouTube, but here's one of the videos.

I would have participated, but I got a lifetime ban after some ugliness last year. It's bullshit, actually. Like I'm the only person who uses a sackful of nickels as a pillow.

I have no idea when this happened or what two teams are playing, but this is simply remarkable. If this kick happened in an NFL game, my heart would probably stop.

Thanks to the FanHaus for dredging this up. Those guys are good. They're like a whole bunch of mes, but less sexy and not allowed to swear and paid less.

It's "jokes write themselves" day here at With Leather. Wiretapped conversations reveal that a Nashville drug dealer and convicted felon was worried about Pacman Jones's behavior long before the Minxx shooting happened. Darryl Moore, who faces trial next month for unspecified drug charges, had this to say about his friend Pacman:

We gotta get him focused on football, man. He's focused on too much other s****… You know, I was talkin' to him the other day about smokin', and he was like ‘man, if I didn't smoke I couldn't take all the stress that I'm dealing with right now.'…[Titans coach Jeff] Fisher's being as patient as a m*****f***** as he can. Fisher gotta win. Fisher trying to win…He ain't putting up with that s***… He gotta concentrate on season…that ******* drug test coming up. We telling him he needed 33 days before he took his ******* test; dry-out, and he didn't…that's let me know right there that he ain't taking his ****** job serious.

Yep. A drug dealer is disappointed in Pacman's shoddy work ethic. I also talked to a convicted murderer, and he said Pacman handled the strip club shooting really sloppily.

(Via Larry Brown Sports) 

You think drug-dealing is a dirty racket? It's got nothing on the unsavory characters in the underworld of kite-flying.

At least 11 people died and more than 100 people were injured at an annual spring festival in eastern Pakistan celebrated with the flying of thousands of colourful kites, officials said today.

The deaths and injuries were caused by stray bullets, sharpened kite-strings, electrocution and people falling off rooftops yesterday at the conclusion of the two-day Basant festival… Kite flyers often use strings made of wire or coated with ground glass to try to cross and cut a rival’s string or damage the other kite, often after betting on the outcome.

Pakistan: now with nuclear weapons!