Orioles pitcher and renowned golddiggee Kris Benson will miss all of 2007 with a torn rotator cuff in his pitching arm, and let me take this opportunity to say that I don't care what kind of awful loudmouth she is, I would totally go for Anna Benson. Hello, she was a stripper? Done and done.

However, lest I veer too far away from the scalpel-like sports insight that everyone comes here for, I should point out that the O's have signed Benson's former Mets teammate Steve Trachsel to fill void of mediocrity left in Benson's wake — not the first time Trachsel will get starts thanks to Benson injury.

Anyway, it's a worthwhile story line to keep an eye on, especially when Trachsel starts against the White Sox. For those of you who may have forgotten, this site's fine assistant editor is less than enamored with Trachsel's lethargic pace on the mound.

Seriously, though: Anna Benson. I just know she wants to be mistreated.