So, according to YouTube, these are two Illinois youth teams, ages ranging from 16 to 18. Bear with the dullery of the first 1:05, and you'll be rewarded with the rare and treasured goalie versus goalie fight.

Who are the jackals watching the game? Did they get imported from the ThunderDome? My God.

On a serious note, as responsible Americans we would be well-advised to love hockey more. Too few of our problems are solved by fisticuffs, and too many people out there are pussies. You think douchebags would be popping their collars if they knew they were gonna get stuck in the eye? Hell no.

So, if hockey's taught us anything, it's that we should all punch people with popped collars. The end.