ACC GEOGRAPHY LESSON
02.03.07So #21 Clemson loses to struggling Georgia Tech, #18 Virginia Tech falls to ACC leader (but unranked?) Boston College, and NC State upsets #3 North Carolina. Meanwhile Duke is virtually tied for fifth, and Wake Forest and Maryland only have two conference wins. What? Will somebody please take control of this conference before Coach K does? You can't lose to whatever conference foe you'd like to, this isn't the Big Ten. First, Clemson and VA Tech are a football schools and should not be ranked in the top 25. (They are only basketball schools when I bet on them to win a football game.) Second, some of the schools in the ACC shouldn't even be in the conference (I'm looking in your direction Tallahassee), so here are your revised ACC rankings based (mostly) on their proximity to the gray waters of the Atlantic:
- Miami (9-13, 2-6) – #1 with a bullet for Super Bowl weekend.
- Boston College (16-6, 7-2) – Why aren't they in the Top 25?
They're not #1 here because Miami has a beach, not a shore. - Maryland (16-6, 2-5) – The Chesapeake Bay does count.
- NC State (13-8, 3-5) – Perhaps David Thompson has some eligibility left.
- Duke (18-4, 5-3) – Hate them, but not because they're good. Hate them because they're nicknamed after French soldiers.
- North Carolina (20-3, 6-2) –
FurthestFarthest west in the Triangle. (Thanks to Strunk & White for the correction.) - Wake Forest (10-11, 2-7) – Sportswriters should use "exorcise" whenever they win.
- Virginia Tech (16-7, 6-3) – It was hard to tell if Blacksburg was farther from the coast than Tobacco Road on my sun-bleached road atlas.
- Georgia Tech (14-8, 3-6) – Athens is closer to the coast than Atlanta.
- Clemson (18-5, 4-5) – Being ranked, it was fun while it lasted.
- Virginia (14-6, 6-2) – Should have been #4, but -50 points for stealing Dave Leitao from DePaul.
- Florida State (16-6, 4-4) – The Gulf of Mexico does not count.
I eyeballed these on my weather-beaten map, so you can appeal the decisions through Comments or Gmail. However, keep in mind that lowly Syracuse guaranteed a N.I.T. birth for my Blue Demons, and, because of that, I have been drinking J.J. & S for the last two hours. -KD
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Once in every ten years or so FSU manages to at least be competitive in the conference come basketball season, and you have to take it away when its finally upon us? Tallahassee isn’t close to ANY water, but I’m told its in a state on the Altantic coast. After the debacle that was the football season, can you just let us enjoy our medocity in ACC basketball and the hope of a tournment birth? No one needs to remind us what a non-oceanic shit hole Tallahassee is.
#2 – “They’re” not #1 here… ;)
Thanks Kate, you receive a gold star. The second glass of Jameson made me Sarah Spain the English Language.
I’m sorry but the Big Ten is way more fucked up. I mean Indiana beats Wisconsin last week, then Iowa beats Indiana 4 days later?! Yet you can’t rule out anyone in the conference come March. I think that the schools in the Big Ten should not be allowed to be ranked, allow the voting commitee to vote in 3 teams that receive 16 seeds. Is there a more frustrating/BORING (scores: 55-43) than the Big Ten?
You can’t hate on FSU, we have choices with our water, but our state is ACC ready. Also, we are the only team that can play with Duke every year, I don’t know how it happens, but it does. Oh yeah, and we man handled UF.
What Tony said – don’t hate on my Noles.
Last time I checked, Florida bumps up against both the Atlantic and the Gulf. Let’s not get too sassy here, mmmmmkay?
And lest we all forget…those same gulf coast-based Noles beat the Dukies in Cameron last night. GO NOLES!
Berth, not birth. Glad you’re a writer on a somewhat fulltime basis. I went to a DePaul game this year (against Kansas). Because they are so so so so so boring I left at halftime and missed them beat my least favorite team. But I’m glad you’re excited about the N.I.T.