YOUR GRATUITOUS SARAH SPAIN UPDATE
01.26.07
We all remember Sarah Spain and her attempt to get paid to go to the Super Bowl via eBay, yes? Well, I thought it only fair that I provide an update on what's going on with the Spain Train. For starters, I got an email yesterday from an alleged former classmate of Sarah's. It read, in part,
i went to high school with this girl. she's about 6'1 and lets say the [eBay pics] are some "favorable" pictures.
Hmmm… Your honor, may I present Exhibits A-F. I think the jury will find that tits don't lie. Also, according to the defendant's delightful MySpace page, she's only 5'11". I think this is ample evidence that she is no longer the girl she reportedly was in high school.
In other news, Sarah appeared on 710 ESPN Radio's D'Marco Farr Show with Kevin Kiley in LA yesterday. Living in New York, I was unable to follow what she said about our budding romance, but she did send me an email telling me that she is slick with anticipation for our sexual rendezvous:
Thanks man. Any pub is good pub in this case. I think this crap might actually work! I'm so excited!
Okay, so she wasn't exactly explicit, but you can totally read between the lines. Her and me are gonna get. It. ON.
P.S. The title of the featured image is "Application Photo for the Spearmint Rhino." Dear God please don't be kidding.
UPDATE! Sarah's giving eBay another shot, and she's serious about F'ing with your eBay credit if you place a fake bid.
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![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/nick-mangold-jimmy-fallon-180x180.jpg)
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Exhibit G:
[myspace-272.vo.llnwd.net]
If she is from Lake Forest then she sucks by association. If you are not familiar with the town imagine a bunch of rich east coast wannabees who think they are too good for the midwest, but forget that they live here too.
She wants you, and you must go to her.
Fulfill your destiny, Matt.
Seriously, look at the way she’s looking at you in that first pic. You are SO fucking in there.
seal the deal, ufford. your nation of miscreants demands it.
After you are done soiling her sheets remember the safety word…”poodle”
Man, if only we could find a picture of her sticking out her chest.
I don’t know, Matt. I think she’d prefer the soldier pictured in the previous post over a slovenly blogger like yourself.
She works at Fox Sports and can’t score tickets? When it comes to game, she is lame.
The sad part is. You may actually have a chance. if your real name was Rextasy.
Otto, you rock.
I’m waiting for Matt to quietly reveal that he actually has a pair of Super Bowl tickets. In his pants.
she did say she was “so excited.” If living in my parent’s basement the last 10 years has taught me anything, its that she is essentially saying, “i’m creaming my jeans right now.”
When she says “Please NO FAKE BIDS. I WILL report you to EBay and go after you” in her new auction, is this what you meant by you and her are gonna get it on, Matt?
She’s a beast. But I’d still hit it.
Over $2100 for her!?!
Wow. Why dont these guys just ask her to come and meet them in Miami? Im sure if she wants to go to the Superbowl that bad, she’d come and pay for the drinks and food anyway. And if not, Im sure you could find an even hotter girl (although, Ms. Spain is pretty tight), who would come with you for free, and do some freaky shit with you at a high class hotel that would cost an easy $500. Meaning, you’d save a lot of money.
It’s been removed…aww…
Her Myspace page reads “…or have any rich friends willing to spring for a pair…”
Fortuitous wording?
If you have the chance, hit it before those lactators drop. Bad times in 2-3 years without surgical help.
This is what this country needs, another Paris Hilton “attention whore” wannabe.