01.30.07 NASCAR WILL TEACH OUR NATION’S YOUTH

Here's a terrifying story that will chill you to the bone:

Teachers across North Carolina are betting that NASCAR-related lesson plans will snag the attention of students otherwise not interested in learning. This week, 24 teachers are attending a seminar called "NASCAR: Science on the Race Track" that's sponsored by the N.C. Center for the Advancement of Teaching.

If you're an economics teacher, you might tell students how a future NASCAR Hall of Fame could boost the state's economy. Science teachers might illustrate the physics of energy by asking students to build, then test a car model. Physical education teachers? They'll also find a NASCAR concept to apply in class.

I… wow. I know teaching is a shitty, thankless job, and that crappy parenting has turned most children into feral little monsters. So, I guess I support different methods of tricking kids into learning something. But still: NASCAR? This has to be the last resort.

And I don't see this working beyond science or economics classes. Or maybe shop. Somehow I just don't see NASCAR improving literacy or our grasp of American history. That'd be like me teaching abstinence. I just wouldn't know where to start. "Wait, wait. WHOA. You're telling me NOT having sex is an option? Get the fuck out."