Once a upon a time there was light in my life… Now there's only love in the dark…
SLAM Online's Sam Rubenstein got a hold of these pictures of the Giants' reluctant quarterback Eli Manning at a karaoke bar just hours after shitting the bed against the Saints on Christmas Eve.
Not that anybody looks cool doing karaoke — well, except Asians and this one heavily tattooed hipster-punk girl I dated last year — but, as with all things, Eli looks worse than most people.
I will say this: he does look more comfortable on stage than he does in the pocket. Which is probably what he told his dad when he was fourteen. But nobody listened.
NOTE: What do you think Eli's singing? Funniest justification gets props in my first post tomorrow.
UPDATE: As a few readers have noted, by looking closely at the screen, you can make out lyrics to Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer." However, facts are boring. Please continue to guess what songs would be more appropriate.
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“Fortunate Son.”
Appropriately, if you look very closely, he appears to be singing “Livin’ On A Prayer.”
“Man, I Feel Like A Woman!”
“Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends?”
“Rubbin’ sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
and the thought of rubbin’ you is getting so exciting.
Sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight. Afternoon delight.”
Everclear – Father of Mine
“My Neck, My Back”
“Wide Open Spaces” off of his back foot as he thought he saw someone coming towards the stage which made his delivery weak and offtarget.
“Just put it in my mouth. My mother fuckin’ mouth”
“TO the window to the wall, till the sweat drips from Brady’s balls.”
Whoops, wrong Manning. This is what happens when you have a liquid lunch
“Just like every night has it’s dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn” -Poison!
Whoops, wrong Manning
Rash is right…
I think he is singing ‘Beat It.’ Something he doesn’t do much of on the field, but does plenty of at home in the privacy of his bedroom.
Zing! Zing! Zing!
“Live & Let Die”
“It’s Raining Men”
“Eli’s Coming” Three Dog Night —- book it
I think it is “Summer Nights” from Grease.
“I’m Coming Out” – Diana Ross
ORRR “Don’t Want no Short Short Man”, hence his fingers
“Son of a Preacher Man”
Bon Jovi was just the start. He got up there later and sang “Sweet Transvestite” from Rocky Horror.
“San. Dee. Ay. Go. Soo. Purr. Chargers!”
“Crazy Train”
Or maybe “Hard To Say I’m Sorry,” by Peter Cetera. Definitely Peter Cetera.
“Friends In Low Places”
“Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera. ALWAYS Peter Cetera
“Manningish Boy.” Followed by “Papa Don’t Preach,” because he’s in trouble. Deep.
“Rape Me”, Nirvana
Or maybe: “It Rubs the Lotion on Its Skin”, Jame Gumb
“Loser,” Beck.
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.
Although I also suggest “Favorite Things” – When the gdog bites! When the bee stings! When I’m feeeeling saaaaaddd….etc.
Check this out: [www.youtube.com]
I think the screen behind him actually reads “He’s down on his luck”, which would be tough to top.
Hey Brent, the name of the song Jame Gumb sings is not “it rubs the lotion on the skin.” The now infamous scene in SOTL where he’s dancing around is actually a song called “Goodbye Horses” and it was sung by Q-Lazarus, who is a woman incidentally. John Demme, director of SOTL, supposedly heard the song in a NYC club and put it in the movie…what were we talking about again?
“Caught Between the Moon and New York City” – Christopher Cross. Arthur approves.
“Boogie in Your Butt” by Eddie Murphy.
“Straight Outta Compton” by NWA
Hayton- I wasn’t referring to the tucked sausage cabaret but instead the a cappella serenade to the Senator’s daughter in the pit, but good call on the Q-Lazarus.
Thanks for clearing up the confusion Brent…I’m passionate about the movie if you can’t already tell.
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard….”
“Material Girl”.
“Blue” Eiffel 65
Ben Folds Five’s “Army”.
III’MM EV-RY WO-MAN
“He’s down on his luck. It’s tough, so tough.” Thanks Rash. I’ll ignore reality, though, and go with “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” – Oh Daddy dear you know you’re still number 1!
… and dreaming he had stood up for his love of Squash and the stage when he was younger instead of giving in to the pressures of Archie (and Peyton).
“White and Nerdy” by Weird Al, or I could see him going all teen-angsty after his big loss and going with “Crawling” by Linkin Park
Culture Club › Do You Really Want To Hurt Me
Motorhead – Ace of Spades. “If you like to gamble…” Oh wait, that’s what the Sex Cannon would sing. My bad.
“back that azz up” – juvenile…with a dedication to his center
Justificantion for singing karaoke? He’s a complete tool.
Song: “Private Dancer” by Tina Turner, dedicated to Strahan.
“material girl”
ooops…sorry zoombah, I overlooked that one….
I think he and Coughlin did a little James Ingram/Quincy Jones duet:
I did my best
But I guess my best wasn’t good enough
‘Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We’re back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay
Or head on out the door
Just once can’t we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong
Just once can’t we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it
I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
‘Cause Lord knows we’re not getting anywhere
Seems we’re always blowing whatever we got going
And seems at times with all we’ve got
We haven’t got a prayer
Just once can’t we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why the goodtimes never last for very long
Seems we’re always blowing
Whatever we got going
Or maybe ZZ Topp – “Sharp Dressed Man”