Patriots defensive end Richard Seymour announced on WEEI that he now carries a second cell phone to interact with fans.

In a move at once perplexing and yet strangely commendable, the superstar defensive end has begun carrying a second phone that serves as his fan hotline. Just dial 401-464-1194, and there’s a chance the four-time All-Pro could answer…“It’s just my fan number,” he said. “It’s my fan hotline. They can call me. From time to time, I might let Rodney (Harrison) or Tom (Brady) answer, one of those guys. I thought it would be something fun for the fans to have.”

Yes, this is commendable… until you realize that these are New England fans we're talking about. I give it a week until he's like, "Fuck it, I'm not playing for these assholes" and demands a trade.

I was going to do some investigative reporting and call the number, but I left my phone in my bedroom. That's, like, a solid twenty feet away. Dealbreaker.

Wait. Dreamboat might answer the phone? Ummm… If you'll excuse me, I have work to do.