As many of you know, I love the Seahawks. However, you're spared hearing about my lame-ass love for a lame-ass team, because I have a separate forum where I can admit to liking the Seahawks. Plus they tend to stay out of jail and not do drugs, so I don't have many excuses to cover them here. But tonight they're the only football show in town, so I'm going to take a moment to address this Monday Night Football selection.

I know the 'Hawks are the reigning NFC champs and all, but really, whose idea was it to make Oakland-Seattle the Monday night game? It's almost like ESPN chooses matchups not by which teams will be playing, but by which video clips they can use to hype the game up. Memo to ESPN: we no longer care about the fact that Bo Jackson scored two touchdowns in the Kingdome on a Monday night twenty years ago. These teams are no longer division rivals, nor even conference rivals. They're two West Coast markets that won't keep the attention of your precious East Coast viewers. You have wasted our time and your money by airing this game.

Of course, I'm going to watch it. How can I not? Seneca Wallace, Andrew Walter, Maurice Morris — this game has got some of the NFL's hottest young falling stars. Plus we'll get Mike Holmgren and Al Davis in HD! What's not to love?

NOTE: I can't be sure, but I think that picture of Al Davis was taken twenty years ago. Watch out, ladies: he's single! Rawr! Liver spots are the new black.