If it's possible to have a favorite minor league baseball team, the Tacoma Rainiers are mine. Not only was I born just outside Tacoma, they're the Triple-A affiliate of my favorite major league team. I've gone to a couple of their games since they moved out of the Tacoma Dome to an outdoor stadium.

But this… Fuuuuuuuuck. 

Singer Nick Lachey says he jumped at the opportunity to be a part owner of the Tacoma Rainiers… He says he intends to play an active role in the ownership.

Oh Lord no. He's probably just looking for a venue that can't refuse to let him sing. This will totally demean the sideshow entertainment in the minor leagues. You know, like juggling clowns and birthday announcements.

I'm not Pablo Escobar or Tony Montana or even Lindsay Lohan, but, uh… that's a lot of cocaine. That could probably sustain Michael Irvin through an entire episode of NFL Countdown. A handsome tipster writes into With Leather:

A "friend" posted this on my fantasy football league's page. This was the caption "THIS AINT NO "COLLEGE HUMOR" EITHER, THIS IS FIRST HAND AFTER BEATING MICHIGAN".

The Buckeye in question is referring, no doubt, to the College Humor rankings that had the audacity to rank Michigan 10th and OSU 49th in "having the maximum amount of fun while putting forth the least amount of effort."

"Those assholes at College Humor don't think we can party? Oh, we can fucking party! Louanne! Cut the coke to read our state's name! That'll learn 'em!"

UPDATE: The aforementioned Buckeye didn't take kindly to a commenter's suggestion that the photographed substance is baking soda. The tipster sends this portion of an AIM chat (screen names changed, obviously):

Buckeye: that shit is as pure as i have done… and actually we ended up smoking one of the o's
Tipster: ???
Buckeye: cooked that shit up
Tipster: you cooked it up? you sick bastard.
Buckeye: know this mannn

And that sound you hear is my jokemeter clicking over to "empty." I got nuthin' left. Today, Ohio has beaten me.

No. 1 The Ohio State fell to No. 6 UNC last night 98-89, but it didn't do much to change the notion of OSU as the top-ranked team.

Pasty Tar Heels sophomore Tyler Hansbrough dominated inside (he's like Todd MacCulloch… but better!), but without Greg Oden, any Buckeyes loss between now and Oden's return from a broken wrist hast o be considered moot. Honestly, I don't see the point of any college basketball games being played until Greg Oden returns.

This is moderately off-topic, but am I the only one moderately afraid of Oden's thick, imposing brow? I'm pretty sure it can stop bullets. The Thing has gentler facial features.

Sexy and faithful readers of With Leather may remember that Dallas Clark didn't like the abuse that his video game likeness absorbs in the most recent Madden commercial.

Well, luckily for Mr. Clark, the director's cut of the commerical has been released, and it justifiably shows that Dallas Clark is the greatest football player ever. After seeing this video, I can't help but wonder why the Colts limit his role to merely playing tight end.

(Special thanks to We are the Postmen, via Rooster Teeth.)

Deadspin pointed me to Soccernista, which breaks down some ugly soccer-related racism and anti-Semitism at a match last week. Some specifics:

- Paris Saint Germain met Hapoel Tel Aviv in a midweek UEFA Cup match. 
- Throughout the match, PSG supporters taunted the 3000 or so Hapoel supporters with chants of “PLO,” “Hezbollah,” and “Down with Israel.”  Fascist salutes were also seen.  
- The match ends.  Hapoel supporters are held in the stadium for an hour and a half past the final whistle.  Once released, they are met by PSG supporter groups shouting “Heil Hitler,” “Jews to the Gas Chamber,” and “Le Pen for President.”
- A black undercover policeman steps into protect [a Hapoel fan], and the mob responds with chants of “filthy black.” They begin to beat the policeman, who pulls a gun and fires. Sadly, only one member of the mob is killed.

You don't have to be Encyclopedia Brown to figure out that the Frogs are assholes or that soccer hooligans are the worst of the bunch, but I've got to think that this is the sort of thing that wouldn't get passed off as mere hooliganism in America. It's a societal issue, and it's nice to see America ahead of another country in race issues, even if that country is an international symbol of cowardice and weakness.

I mean, in America we know better than to taunt filthy blacks. Anybody with half a mind knows they all carry guns. That's what Michael Richards told me, anyway.

Tony Romo finally manned up and admitted that he's basically never even seen Jessica Simpson in person:

"So I don't have to answer any more questions about this, I'm not dating Jessica Simpson, nor have I gone on a date with her," Romo said while laughing. "I appreciate everyone's interest in my social life, but I think I may try to play it close to the vest from here on out."

Ha ha ha, asshole. Hey, here's an idea: maybe if you would have answered the question two weeks ago, people would have stopped asking.

And there you have it. Tony Romo's involvement with Simpson is every bit as real as my affair with Scarlett Johansson. Actually, it's probably less real, given the detail of my fantasies.