OH NO THEY DIDN’T
11.08.06
Say hello to Sports Illustrated's most recent cover model.
Just so we're all on the same page, that cover reads The Gospel According to Ray Lewis, God's Linebacker. For serious.
I'm just going to let this sink in for a few moments. Please join me while I calmly, silently count to ten.
Annnnd… exhale. Um, SI realizes that Ray oversaw his two friends stab somebody to death, then testified against them after he hired high-priced lawyers to acquit them, right? Okay, just checking.
Apparently God is more of a badass than I thought. Although I guess this is slightly better than Rae Carruth, God's Wide Receiver and O.J. Simpson, God's Running Back.
Screw church. I'm gonna go knife some people.
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![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/nick-mangold-jimmy-fallon-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/Favre-Auction-180x180.jpg)
do as I say, not as I do….Geez, is it that fucking hard!
And coming up next week in Evangelicals Illustrated, “Ted Haggard: God’s Heterosexual.”
Mark Brunell: Satan’s Quarterback
Ricky Williams: The art of teamwork
Onterrio Smith: Gods whizzinator
No, it makes perfect sense, Ray Lewis sounds like the linebacker that a God on duty for 9/11, Darfur, East Timor, etc would pick. Just ask Sam Mills – live a decent (superbowl ring-free) life and get blessed with intestinal cancer.
thats it…god only likes champions…..see you in hell sam mills
I’m still not convinced. I just can’t imagine God’s Linebacker’s Stylist putting that fugly shirt/suit combo together.
+1 James and Eggy
what, you dont own any pleather suits?
Sadly, the once ubiquitous Pleather is near extinction where I live, and hunting them has been outlawed. Oh, I remember the days when you could still hear and feel and see those majestic herds thundering across the wax-fruited plains, the bright noonday sun glistening off their gloriously checked and striped stain-resistant hides. I even ate one once, back when it was still legal. Tasted like rubber chicken. None of which explains the hideous check/stripe combo going on in this picture. What’s behind his hands? A polka dot tie? I pray it isn’t so, Ray, I pray it isn’t so.
And I’m now going to start thinking of this place as “With Leather, God’s Sportsblog.” Just because I can.
eggy…i think its one of those optical illusion photos…you know where you stare at it for a couple seconds and an image appears….gimme a sec….yup, its spells something……..
….S__kas…his hands are blocking the middle letters
Make that “With Leather: God’s* Sportsblog, S__ckas! (*God Sold Separately)”…
BTW, Matt, is that +1 for each of us, or split between us for +1/2 each? Cuz I’m thinking, if it’s split, then I could take James out and have the whole +1 to myself. Might seem a little harsh, I know, but “EggyOne, God’s Commenter” just has such a nice ring to it.
dont be greedy eggy…..we take the points, bow our heads and say thank you very much….we are now gods chosen few….
Sorry, James, did you say something? I’m a little distracted, placing an order for this fucking AWESOME basketball chair I just saw…