Tony Romo finally manned up and admitted that he's basically never even seen Jessica Simpson in person:

"So I don't have to answer any more questions about this, I'm not dating Jessica Simpson, nor have I gone on a date with her," Romo said while laughing. "I appreciate everyone's interest in my social life, but I think I may try to play it close to the vest from here on out."

Ha ha ha, asshole. Hey, here's an idea: maybe if you would have answered the question two weeks ago, people would have stopped asking.

And there you have it. Tony Romo's involvement with Simpson is every bit as real as my affair with Scarlett Johansson. Actually, it's probably less real, given the detail of my fantasies.