11.06.06 ELENA DEMENTIEVA IS AN ANGRY HORSE

Elena Dementieva — she's a tennis player, in case you didn't know — is bitching about the male models hired to serve as ball boys during the WTA Championships that start tomorrow.

"We were practicing the other day and I don't think they really know what they have to do on the court because they are too busy watching the players."

Oh, excuse me, your highness. I must have misunderstood the job description: fetch ball at court, throw ball to player. Pretty difficult stuff. Maybe if you looked hot like Russian blondes are supposed to, we male models wouldn't give you a second look. But I mean, if you saw a horse standing on two legs playing tennis, you'd stare, right? I'm still trying to figure out how she's holding that racquet with those hooves.

In other tennis news, Anna Kournikova still hasn't appeared in Playboy, and Rafael Nadal wears capri pants. More updates as the stories unfold!