Of course, I actually don't speak a lick of Spanish, but that didn't stop the Tigers from winning their fifth straight postseason game last night. Alexis Gomez, who twice got sent to the minors this year on his way to six RBI in 103 big league at-bats, went 2-4 with a homer and four RBI. He also has a girl's name.
Not that any of that matters to the Tigers. They've got Jim Leyland. Their players could all be named Mary, Nancy, and Alice, and Leyland would still get production out of them. Still, though, I like my male sports stars to have male names. Just one of my foibles. I guess it's cool for other countries to give their boys girls names (Gomez is Dominican, and the Raptors' Andrea Bargnani is Italian). But if I worked in another country, and I met girls with my name, that would tip me off that I need to find a manly nickname. Or go by my pseudonym in my other line of work, Hugh Strongcock. And now I've said too much.
Anyway, let me solve the problem: Alex Gomez. Andy Bargnani. Boom, you have men's names. Welcome to America.