
Hey, Jon Gruden, can you tell us about Chris Simms and Bruce Gradkowski?
"They're totally opposite. One is left-handed, one's right-handed. One is 6-foot-5, one is 6 foot. One is handsome, one is ugly."
Somehow the rest of the quote must have been cut off from the news story: "One's missing a spleen, the other guy has his. One has his buddy's initials tattooed on his leg, the other has a firm handshake. One's a beautiful piece of blond man-meat, and the other guy is some Polish dago who hasn't done anything but revitalize the team just as our season was falling apart."
I love it when coaches open up.


One spits, one swallows.
One helped his college team overachieve…the other underachieved at a powerhouse, while constantly worrying that a Ginger Kid was going to take his starting job.
One has sand in his vagina, the other does not.
One guy has a male best friend that he loves… In a totally heterosexual way. One guy doesn’t have men’s initials tattoed on his leg.