10.31.06 DREW GOODEN IS COOL

Remember the '80s? Well, they're back. Again. Drew Gooden, at least, is now rockin' it old-school (third item in "Dribbles"):

Gooden is on a big 1980s kick, a current fad in his hometown of Oakland. The Cavs forward recently plunked down $300 on eBay to get a vintage Casio calculator watch… He's growing a square patch of hair in the back of his otherwise shaved head, which he calls a "ducktail." His left eyebrow also has two lines shaved into it."

I don't understand why people think the '80s are so great. It's just regurgitated sentiment for an era that really isn't all that proud in American history. I mean, sure, the rise of organized labor was essential in establishing workers' rights, but mostly, it was a lot of battles with Indians as the whites took their land. And lets not forget Jim Crow laws, xenophobia against the flow of immigrants–

What's that? The 1980s? But I just got this new bowler hat at the haberdasher! It looks great when I'm riding my very tall bicycle.

Sheesh. The 1980s. So, like, what am I supposed to do? Have sex with Heather Locklear or something? Should I get nostalgic for puppet dictatorships in South America? Cuz I'll do it if it makes me cool.