A tour around AOL's NCAA FanHouse gives us a couple police blotter gems.

A UConn football player got arrested for getting into a fight at a wings joint. I didn't even realize UConn had a football team until its coach threw players off the team for legally buying beer, but I can understand this kind of run-in with the law. Wing joints can sow a lot of ill will. You show up drunk, ready for some satisfying fried food, and those bastards give you bleu cheese instead of ranch? Fuck that, somebody's getting punched.

And in a story I've shamefully ignored until now, members of the Louisville wide receiving corps were arrested and suspended indefinitely after firing a paintball gun at a woman in downtown Louisville. Do I have to make a joke here, or is the story enough? Because if I have to, I'll make fun of the toothless strippers at the Kentucky chain of strip clubs called "Thoroughbreds"… but I think the South does enough bathing in its own filth. I don't really need to pile on.