Some NFL teams gave Charlie Weis a call during Notre Dame's bye week (who could possibly be looking for a new coach?), but the former New England offensive coordinator is going nowhere. 

"Everyone knows I'm staying here until they fire me or I die. I'm here for life. That's what I said I was going to do. So why would I not be a man of my word?"

Gee, I wonder why Charlie Weis isn't going anywhere. Probably because he doesn't like the sling and crane necessary to move his fat ass around. I mean, I'm sorry his gastric bypass didn't work, but c'mon. His face has the sunken eyes and ashy complexion of someone who's already had three heart attacks. He's staying at Notre Dame until he dies, all right. I'll put the over/under at 2.5 years.

And take the under.