10.31.06 BARRY BONDS HAS A TERRIFIC AGENT
For those of you arriving from the colossal gay train wreck of Deadspin today, welcome. Stay tuned for dick jokes and some actual sports news.
Like this: Jeff Borris, Barry Bonds's agent, believes that thirty teams will be interested in signing his client this winter. Thirty Major League Baseball teams, that is — the number is actually much higher if you count the teams in the Federation of Colossal Assholes.
"When you analyze the economics and demographics that Barry might mean to a franchise, I believe all 30 teams would be interested in him based on the revenue he could bring to the franchise."
An insider reports that Bonds is looking for $14 million a year wherever he goes.
Wow, $14 million to play 120 games and hit as many as 22 home runs? That's almost Clemensesque. What team wouldn't want to add him to their lineup? Plus you get the added bonus of his veteran leadership, which I've heard is a combination of Ty Cobb with syphilis and Shannen Doherty.
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There are 11 comments about:
BARRY BONDS HAS A TERRIFIC AGENT
amazing pic
He seems to have put on a bit of weight since that picture was taken. Especially in the head region. That seems odd.
If you subscribe to the Moneyball theory, you could get a divisive lockerroom cancer much cheaper in Carl Everett or Milton Bradley.
BTW, I thought the reason people were avoiding Deadspin today WAS the preponderance of dick jokes…and the potential that the “other” Billy Beane might be mentioned.
Can we start just beat deadspin’s ass. like the six commentors here take on all of the deadspin commentors. we’re like the US and A and they are like the British. i hope to accomplish that one day. for real.
I was watching the 1991 sci-fi film “Rookie of the Year”(not because a kid pitched in the MLB, but because the Cubs go to the playoffs) and the kid strikes out what looks like Juan Pierre in a Pirate uniform. I was shocked to see at the end of the credits it was Barry Bonds.
GO HGH!
That kid later got the honor of pretending to go down on Tara Reid in “American Pie”.
This was, of course, back before no one wanted to go down there…
Throw him the hot stinky cheese henry roengardener
Thank you, CC for giving me a lil sumthin sumthin to read today… Yes, I am a member of the Republica de Deadspin, and today it did indeed blow goats with Alex, (huh, that works a couple ways) but Matt, you and Jack truly hold my heart…
When did Barry Prince change his name to Jeff Borris?
I thought Shannen Doherty was Ty Cobb with syphilis.
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