The Yankees lost 3-2 to the Blue Jays on Wednesday, failing to capitalize on their magic number of one. But the Red Sox' breathtaking 8-2 loss 30 minutes later clinched the division for the Bronx Bombers.

That must have been some celebration. Coming back to the clubhouse after a loss, looking at the chilled champagne and beer, digging under the plastic tarp to get to your locker. We'll get 'em tomorrow says the third base coach, as stadium personnel wheel the champagne away. Then somebody turns the TV on, and it turns out you're champions after all. Bring back our fucking champagne, shitbrick! Jeter probably said that, since he's the captain. In case you hadn't heard. Media coverage of the Yankees is woefully rare, after all.

Congratulations, New York Yankees. You got into the playoffs the best way possible. Through the back door.