As someone who has a standing rule to leave all Orlando Magic games with two minutes left to beat the slow jerkwads down the escalators, I understand that people want to dip out a little earlier than the rest of the mob. But if you just paid at least three digits to see your team play in the NBA Finals and they’re not losing by at least 10 with no less than 15 seconds left, then you have absolutely no excuse for leaving your seats.

And if you’re caught by local news cameras leaving the arena as your team pulls off an incredible 5-point rally in less than 28 seconds and again when you’re screaming about wanting back in because you paid so much for your tickets, I will endorse any local newsperson who wants to call you an idiot or worse.

That said, Heat by 23 in Game 7.

MLB

Dodgers at Yankees – 7 PM ET on ESPN 2

The second half of a doubleheader that I don’t give two tickles of a tadpole’s taint about.

College World Series

Oregon State at Indiana – 8 PM ET on ESPN

What if “elimination game” actually meant a battle for one team’s life? Wait, I think I just wrote Aaron Eckhart’s next straight-to-DVD movie.

Stanley Cup Finals

Game 4: Blackhawks at Bruins – 8 PM ET on NBC

Oh can we watch this one on NBC, NBC? There’s no Voice highlight show on tonight? Gee, you spoil us, NBC. I hope Tuukka Rask curses again.

Bellator MMA – 8 PM ET on Spike

Muhammed Lawal vs. Seth Petruzelli in a light-heavyweight semifinal in Thackerville, Okla. Also: Renato Sobral vs. Jacob Noe; Vinicius Queiroz vs. Rich Hale; and War Machine vs. Blas Avena.

I should really start watching this show.

You’d think upgrading from the Qingdao Eagles to the San Antonio Spurs bench would be an improvement, but nope, Tracy McGrady’s career has hit rock bottom. How do I know? Because Arby’s is throwing shade at him on the Internet. Arby’s.

Twitter user @DragonflyJonez made a joke about T-Mac and mentioned Arby’s. I guess the Arby’s Twitter Team is searching for “Arby’s” every five seconds and immediately responded with the best (and meanest) (and most appropriate) joke Arby’s is ever gonna make.

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At some point during the chaos of the Miami Heat’s incredibly perseverant, come-from-behind 103-100 OT Game 6 victory over the San Antonio Spurs last night, something magical happened – LeBron James lost his trademark headband. Of course, people lost their sh*t over this, because the Internet is full of people who believe in superstition and mystical powers provided by fuzzy sweat-blockers that hide receding hairlines.

Needless to say, what quickly turned into the trending topic, #NoHeadband, became the easiest thing that sports media folks could run with until Game 7 begins tomorrow night, because why on Earth would we talk about things like how much Manu Ginobili is hurting the Spurs with his sloppy play or how Chris Bosh is playing in the face of immense criticism from the media and fans alike, when we could talk about whether or not one player should wear a headband?

Now, if I sound a little too cynical right now, it’s only because all of this #NoHeadband chatter is ignoring the fact that many great people throughout history had, in fact, only become famous and more successful once they shed their own trademark headbands. And I know this because I am a certified world historian with degrees from schools and places, and I can further verify by presenting these 100% accurate and legitimate photographs.

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Vintage Promos is a series looking back at the best, worst and most memorable pro wrestling interviews of all time. It previously appeared on AOL FanHouse.

In the last installment of Vintage Promos, you met The Antichrist, a Mexican pro wrestler who had trouble explaining who he is (and how much he hates God) because of a language barrier. I’m, uh, assuming. You get the impression that he knows what words mean, he just can’t string them together effectively.

This week, you’ll meet a guy with the same problem, minus the language barrier.

Claude “Thunderbolt” Patterson had a 30-year career, held numerous tag team championships across the country and is secretly one of the most important folks in pro graps history.

You see, he was once tag team partners with a guy named Ole Anderson. They were great. They held the NWA National Tag Team Championships. But eventually a young guy by the name of Arn Anderson showed up, and Arn was so good (and kayfabe related to Ole) that it drove a wedge between the partners. Ole recognized greatness. He realized he’d been carrying guys like Thunderbolt, and it was time to do something better with his life. That led to Ole and Arn teaming up to jump “Raging Bull” Manny Fernandez, which was the genesis of the Four Horsemen, the group that defined a generation of heels and changed the way fans thought about wrestling stables.

The Horsemen thrived. Thunderbolt fell into obscurity. But LO, almost a decade later Claude Patterson reemerged as an enforcer, ready to curb the rough antics of Ole Anderson should they happen. It would be very easy for a guy to say “Ole, you wronged me in the past, but I know you better than anyone. If you try anything funny, I’m going to kick your ass.” This is what Thunderbolt Patterson said.

Well, sort of.

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The UFC has started announcing the details of its super spectacular, mega awesome 20th anniversary event on November 16, and the good news right out of the gates is that we’re finally going to see Johny Hendricks get his shot at Georges St-Pierre and the UFC Welterweight Championship. Hendricks earned this opportunity with his unanimous decision victory (and Fight of the Night) over Carlos Condit at UFC 158. Oh, and that whole being 10-1 since joining the UFC thing helps, too.

Of course the bad news for this event – which will likely be UFC 167 – is that lawmakers in New York decided not to vote on a bill to legalize mixed martial arts in the state before the end of the current legislative session. UFC President Dana White was hoping to host this milestone event at Madison Square Garden, but now it’s just going to be in Las Vegas again, even though the bill probably would have passed if it hit the floor.

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Jack Hoffman is one of With Leather's (and everybody else's) favorite people.

If you don't recognize the name, he's the 7-year old brain cancer patient who ran for a 69-yard touchdown during the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ recent spring game. He’s been a celebrity ever since, getting his own Upper Deck card and hanging out (and assumedly talking health care reform) with President Obama. He’d be dating a Kardashian if … you know, he wasn’t 7.

Anyway, Jack’s latest moment of stardom occurred at the College World Series, an event that this year has already proven itself dangerous for children. Why is Jack Hoffman even at the College World Series, you might ask? For a very special reason.

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