"Haha, I don't have an agent either!"

Never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d say, “Please, bring back Bow Wow.” But there I was last night, flipping through the channels during a timeout in the Miami Heat’s series-clinching victory over the Indiana Pacers, when I stumbled upon the film Like Mike 2: Streetball, as it aired on BET. I was 23 when the original Like Mike was in theaters, so it wasn’t exactly my type of film, and needless to say that a 2006 straight-to-DVD sequel wouldn’t be my cup of Sanka either.

But there it was, in all its glory – the rehashed, recycled and redonkulous sequel to the story of a kid who receives the magical ability to play basketball like Michael Jordan from a pair of dirty old sneakers hanging from a power line. This time, instead of Bow Wow’s Calvin Cambridge, the young hero is Jascha Washington’s Jerome, who is the son of a streetball legend and therefore wants to be the best as well. The only problem is he’s too young and small and clichéd.

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Tonight’s the big night: for an entry fee of only ten bucks, you could end up as one of 15 finalists competing for a $100,000 grand prize playing FanDuel fantasy baseball in Las Vegas. If you missed our announcement earlier in the week, here are the details:

The FanDuel Daily Fantasy Baseball Championship consists of 15 Friday qualifying tournaments that are only $10 to enter. Each weekly tournament has over $3000 in prizes, but if you win one of the 15 qualifying tournaments, you and a friend win an all expenses paid trip to the Palazzo in Las Vegas the weekend of July 28 & 29. There, the 15 finalists will compete for $250,000 in cash prizes in a one-day fantasy baseball game with the winner taking home $100,000. Again, it’s only $10 to enter and you can enter as many teams as you want.

That’s not something you want to miss out on, is it? You could win more money than most people make in a year by saying “I think I’ll pick Mike Trout tonight” and clicking a button. That’s incredible, isn’t it? All you have to do right now is say “I think I’ll play Brandon’s cool fantasy thing” and click a button. This button. And hell, even if you don’t like baseball, find somebody who does and try to win a trip to Vegas.

(Sign up now!)

Whereas 2011 was a high point in investigative journalism with the Jerry Sandusky and Bernie Fine cases, 2012 is clearly the year of streaker news. Already, our good friend Jon Bois at SB Nation has been keeping incredible track of the baseball season’s early abundance of streakers – most notably in Baltimore – but last night’s game between the Cardinals and Phillies at Busch Stadium marked the pinnacle in the journalistic attention to naked dudes.

Between our other good friend Matt Sebek from Joe Sports Fan and Yahoo! baseball writer Jeff Passan, we were given a clinic on how you cover and investigate a naked man on a baseball field. Thanks to Passan, we know that last night’s Busch streaker is 22-year old Jefferson Cirty landscaper Collin Grundstrom – talk about a Yard Crasher! *slide whistle* – and we also learned that he rushed the field for the most important reason of all – why the f*ck not?

“I’m gonna streak,” he announced at the beginning of the St. Louis Cardinals-Philadelphia Phillies game to those within earshot of Section 133, Row 5, Seat 4. At first, they chuckled. Then they started to believe him. Which was followed by attempts to dissuade him. And ultimate acceptance that, yes, Grundstrom was gonna streak, and it was only a matter of when.

“He was very nonchalant,” said Sheila Welch, a Cardinals fan who sat behind Grundstrom. “I tried to tell him he’d go to jail. He didn’t care. I hope his friend thinks that was awesome.”

The most important aspect of this story – even more important than that incredibly well-taken banner image – is that Grundstrom has a large tattoo across his midsection and Passan also pointed out that it reads: “Hakuna Matata”. It means no worries for the rest of your life, except when a fat security guard is Tazing you.

Video after the jump, via Joe Sports Fan, and while it’s taken from a distance, it is still a naked dude so use your discretion.

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Our UFC 145 Live Blog was a huge success, so we’re getting the team back together — FilmDrunk.com editor and “person who has actually gotten into a cage and done this” Dan “Danny Boy” Downes will be handling the play-by-play, giving their predictions and making as many jokes as possible for Saturday night’s UFC 146 event.

The page will go live tomorrow morning, so be sure to bookmark this link: UFC 146: Dos Santos Vs. Mir Live Blog And Open Discussion Thread. If you really want to talk UFC you’re free to do that now, but tomorrow’s thread will bring badge privileges, and those things are like candy.

Full card for the event is below.

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At least it isn’t “Kobe Maybe”. (via Terez Owens)

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Links

The 15 Corniest Verses Of Will Smith’s Rap Career |UPROXX|

Bill Murray’s 10 Most Internet Bait-able Moments |UPROXX|

The 8 People Every Successful Rapper Needs On The Team |Smoking Section|

5 SF Sitcoms Hollywood Should Adapt Before “ALF” |Gamma Squad|

Colin Cowherd Wants Everyone To Know That New Orleans Is A Terrible City |With Leather|

This Week in Posters & Stills: Dark Knights Will Rise, Lizards Gonna Lizard |Film Drunk|

Tumblr That Pairs ‘Simpsons’ and Movie GIFs Is Groin-Grabbingly Good |Warming Glow|

The Comprehensive Guide To The Best, Most Inspiring Commencement Speeches Of 2012 |UPROXX|

New ‘Community’ Showrunners Already Being Mocked Viciously And Hilariously By A Fake Twitter Account |UPROXX|

The 10 Most Popular Shows of the Season Confirms Your Worst Fears |Warming Glow|

Lupe Fiasco’s Not Too Happy With Pete Rock Right Now |Smoking Section|

Nicole Kidman peed on Zac Efron in Lee Daniels’ new golden shower movie |Film Drunk|

10 Suggestions For ‘Backflips & Beatdowns 3′ |With Leather|

First Clip From ‘Total Recall’ Plus A TV Spot And Trigger Happy Pictures |Gamma Squad|

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Look at this jerk, he even blocks New Orleans on the map.

As he embraces life without the wonderful Michelle Beadle, Colin Cowherd reminded us yet again that when it comes to spewing opinions about sports, he’s a guy that does that. Cowherd didn’t make any friends in New Orleans earlier this week, after he complained about the prospect of the 2013 NFL Pro Bowl being held in the Big Easy.

Herped and derped ESPN’s popular radio and TV host:

“They have become the default place for everything, and the Pro Bowl is a family event. Players take their families,” Cowherd said. “Players aren’t going to go to New Orleans. New Orleans is not a family destination, it’s a party destination.”

Players aren’t going to go to New Orleans because it’s a party destination. Let that sink in for a minute. But Hawaii and its 12 hookers per square foot is practically a giant Chuck-E-Cheese.

Let’s just get to the meat of Cowherd’s beef:

“It is the least safe major city in the country… not my opinion, statistically the least safe,” he said. “There are only two where locals will tell you, turn around, don’t go that way…Detroit and New Orleans.”

Let’s forget for a second the fact that you can’t invoke statistics and then not offer any statistics, instead saying something as ridiculous as the locals will tell you to f*ck off like, fittingly, in Interview with a Vampire as they’re burning the city to the ground because of the plague. Cowherd’s entire argument boiled down to ignorance, as he eventually added:

“I want a lot of hotel rooms, a great airport, good weather, safety,” Cowherd said. “New Orleans is not top-15 in any of those.”

Naturally, New Orleans officials disagree.

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